Wonder 1- Existential
Updated: Mar 15, 2019
Recently, as any sane human would do, I have been caught in a series of existential crises. Everything is fine, everything is normal(ish), and then bam. You realize how fleeting time is. How fleeting it all is. It's a ruthless cycle: all the time in the world, to none at all. All the opportunities, to none at all. Dreams galore, to none at all. And I wish I had some magic solution that allows you to see only the possibility, but the truth is we need the existential. We need to be reminded, however painful or scary, that the time we are given is valuable, precious. The existential reminds us that we are here and more so why we are here. It makes you be bold and fearless...at least as much as you can. Let's take, for example, Exhibit A: this blog. For at least a good year I had been planning and/or working on this blog in my free time, and years before that I had dreamt of some way of sharing my words. But life and fear and endless college applications got in the way of taking that publishing plunge, until I received a letter(well really it was an email alerting a status update but that just doesn't sound the same, does it?) of rejection from a college I had applied to. Alas, open the flood gates to the existential in all its painful glory! To put it simply, I was distressed, sad, heartbroken, defeated, and felt like I had wasted my life reaching some pointless goal instead of following my passions (looking back 'simply' was not the best word to begin that...). Somewhere in that 24 hour period of turmoil in its wake, I finally took that leap and published this blog. You see, it took that defeat, that heartbreak for me to summon the courage I needed to finally go for it. As of now I have only told one person that I have in fact finally published Grow Wild and Free so there's a good chance that I am sharing my crisis and latter revelation with only myself... but that's okay. And you will be okay too. So here's to the existential. Here's to the fear that keeps us up at night and dreams that follow us in the day. Because from that fire, we will rise.