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  • Jade Emerson Hebbert

Wonder 8- Not.

Recently I have had a question in my mind. Maybe not so much a question, but rather a single, revealing word poccessing the ability to change my life as we know it to be. And the word? Not.


Last month, through a series of quite normal events, I found myself sitting at a piano bar. Yet the one thing that wasn't heard over the cacophony of boistruous talking and socilaizing was the melodic hum of the piano.


No one was listening. Well, almost no one.


I kept glancing at the pianist, unable to take my eyes off his hands dancing along the keyboard, playing for everyone, playing for no one. His eyes caught mine, and soon he began playing for me. Songs I recogonized and others I didn't. But all the while he was telling me his story, not even needing words.


He asked me if I played, to which I truthfully responded I had once but gave it up, no longer feeling I had the ability to pick it up once more.


Yet the next question he asked I didn't have a truthful answer.


"Why not?"


This year I have shed my excuse for stagnancy, I have lost any reasonable answer to those two words.


The realization hit: I have spent years of my life asking the wrong question, trying to find out the why. Why: Why am I here? Why should I do this? Why am I so lost? Why do I no longer feel like myself? I've been searching for those answers, a justification for every decision.


And now I feel a new question dancing in my mind like his fingers on the keys, I've begun to realize that the why is not nearly as important as the why not.


Maybe there's no big reason, no grand explanation, no why. And maybe there is. But for now I'm going to try letting my life bleed with the possibility of this simple, honest question.


Why not?


Now it's your turn. Ask yourself what you would do if you abandoned your excuses for not living life, the life you dream of in stolen moments in your mind. It's there, in that quiet, knowing voice- as simple as a man playing for an audience of one- that you'll find your answer.


-jeh




seattle, washington - photo by jeh

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